Slutty Bitch

I realise that I am the slutty bitch of my friends group, OMG! I am mean, if I have the opportunity to steal my friends boyfriends, well... I could never do that, I am not the Slutty thing but I think that I could be dating more than one guy at a time, but it's just like a dream? Maybe I am such a bitch, I just want to date someone for hurting him/them, I know it's wrong but in my mind sounds... ok even worse but... ok that's no excuses to be such a bitch slutty mother bitch fu*** OMG! This blog is like a QUEEN blog, I am not like that I don't know why in my blog I always act like this. Well, let's start from the beggining.

Since I was born I always feel that something is different inside of me, like what I feel for boys? after watching "Jurasic Park" and fall in love with that skinny little boy (Joseph Mazzello) please, don't look at me like that at 5 years old I was in love with that kid just because I was a kid, lol. Well I couldn't tell anybody about it just because my parents would probably hit me or even I thought they were going to sent in adoption! It wasn't a wrong thought btw... After years of knowing what was going on with me I constantly felt things about guys and that thing was always on my mind, well is still only in my mind, and in that blog. Some boy have flirt with me?  or something like this but I said always a big NO. I really wanted to kiss them hold them but I always thought about the consequences and what a child never want is to loose his family even if that means not loving anyone, now that I'm 19 I think about all the things I lost and all the things I need and nobody can give me, so I made a pact with myself, I have to send all my angry and pain out of my body and my first "boyfriend" (when I get one) will recive the damage, but that's not the solution and that was just a thing that I wrote in my moleskine, a thing I will never do, a thing that should never be written, but I think that always the damage is explodes in my face, even if I throw it in someone else face.

I don't like being a slutty bitch, I am not a slutty bitch, just a guy who felt pain and was looking for fix those things in a wrong way, hope someone will get me out of the pain and never let me fall down like I did last year.

xoxo. Lalo

"No regrets, no apologizes, just your life, just your decisions."